put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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