OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
