Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
