she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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