As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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