I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
