The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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