What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
