Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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