I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
