Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
