help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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