my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
