Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
