bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
