Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
