piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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