when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
And then he peed in my hair
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