I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
