....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
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his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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