just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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