i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize