I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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