Define "chronic" masturbator.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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