Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
