Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize