Apparently you make a good broom.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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