I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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