YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize