If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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