I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
