bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i came on her dog
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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