i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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