Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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