I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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