i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
