Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize