I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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