i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
