When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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