Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
did i just pee glitter
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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