my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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