What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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