so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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