the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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