TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
