You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
