yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
