don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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