Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
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