I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Panties = found
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