we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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