Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
