Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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