Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
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