Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
