If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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