dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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