I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
