everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
