OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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