She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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