I met the friendliest cop last night
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
