Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
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I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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