I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
