I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
