He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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