apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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