i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
