the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he puts the penis in happiness.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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