i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
