there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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