I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
