You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
