I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
