And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
