I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
