but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
